Skin Deep

Class was fun today. Nancy and Julie are awesome about not making me feel like "the guy who's in their way" during production. I made Scott some chocolate molds and truffles. Tomorrow I'll start the chocolate box that will carry it all :-) I hope he likes it.

In the meantime I'm sure my body will decide to break out from the buttload of chocolate we've been tasting. There's such a variety, and such great differences in texture and taste. Nevertheless, it's all loaded with sugar, so unless I start exfoliating and applying astringent right now during class, I can expect a charming little surprise or two enveloping my face tomorrow morning. In my defense, I DID throw quite a few cacao nibs into the chocolate mix that I devoured. I'm still not sure what antioxidants do, but they're packed with them. I hope they at least minimize the zitfest I'm warily anticipating—if not heal me of all my ailments.

One thing I don't foresee it helping me to accomplish is that weight loss goal. Well, I'd hardly call it a goal. More like a..."wouldn't it be nice if...blah blah blah." Cacao nibs are basically what is known as cocoa mass—cocoa solids and cocoa butter. Meaning that, as filled with antioxidants as it may be, the remainder of the nib consists of what women use to soften their skin!

I'm not stressing out about it...mainly because that would further provoke a breakout. But I'm starting to see that, regarding weight loss, time is of the essence. No, my biological clock is not ticking...in the traditional sense. I just don't know (once I lose an ideal amount of weight) whether or not I'll need to overdose on vitamin E to avoid a skin condition like this:

I'm not all that young anymore, so my skin elasticity isn't what it once was. I don't want to resort to surgery. My wallet has been fucked enough already. I'll no doubt ask myself every step of the way why I'm losing weight.

Social acceptance? Fuck no. I'll likely spit in the face of every shallow douchebag who hits on me—because I know he would never have lowered himself to do so before.

Health reasons? Maybe. But honestly, my cholesterol is fine. It's not even higher-range fine. It's FINE fine. The only trouble spot would be my blood pressure. Which means that once I lose weight, I won't be at risk of a heart attack while fending off a hate bashing or running from zombies or whatever.

Because Scott wants me to? Yeah, that's probably it. I'd do a lot for him. He says he worries about my health. That's reason enough for me.

But one thing is certain. I'll never have a problem speaking my mind to any shallow, elitist asshole who makes others feel bad for not resembling a malnourished cookie-cutter image of "perfection."

Sexy has a broad definition. That's reality. Anyone who wants to make it a narrow, exclusive snoot club is living in a fleeting fantasy with a definite expiration date. No one will look 18 and trim forever. It's high time everyone realizes that and gets over this skin-deep mentality. And regardless of how sexy you are in anyone's eyes, it doesn't make you any more deserving of happiness or love than anyone else.

...I wonder how many more post it will be before the stop ending in rants...